butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
