Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
