sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
