I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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