And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How naked do you want me to be?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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