I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
