Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
