Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
