I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
