Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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