cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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