He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
