I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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