I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
