I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
