You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
