Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
