I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
