i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
