These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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