bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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