the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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