3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
