Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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