Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
