I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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