eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
