Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
