how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
