george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
