I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
