if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
