its not stalking. its research.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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