You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
