billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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