Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
