Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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