is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
