can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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