Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just cut my nipple shaving
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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