well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
