i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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