Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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