I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
