We're facebook friends in real life
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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