Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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