i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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