i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
