We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
