me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
