someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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