On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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